Tag Archives: Me

A MEMORY COMPANION

He thought enough of me
to converse a thousand
kinds of conversations
over thousands of days.

He thought enough of me
to break bread a thousand
kinds of epicurean delights
over thousands of meals.

He thought enough of me
to court me every day
with romance and love
enough to fill a fine book.

He thought enough of me
to make millions of memories
very sweet and love true
over millions of moments.

He thought enough of me
to vow before almighty God
to love, trust, and cherish
until death we do part.

How do I finally say goodbye?
How do I redirect my vows
from my forever true love
to any possibility of other.

My heart yearns to turn
the dimension of time
infinitely backwards
to my comforting memories.

Now it has become painful
to bottle up the thousands
of leftover I love yous
trapped in my heart.

I have become lonely
since he went to be
with The Lord above
who loves us completely.

I will confess to His Spirit
my forever true Friend
who lives deep inside
my forever soul and spirit

I find as time goes by
a million unstoppable
new thoughts and feelings
bubbling up inside my heart.

I dream of an imagined love
who converses and dines
with a different sort of me
making memories anew.

And I wonder is it possible
from our Creator, above
to have in His plan for me
another memory companion.

Texas Lady Juanita

Copyright © 2019 by Juanita Holloway-Walters

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BLUE WIDOW

by Texas Lady Juanita

Whatever will I do
To stop being so blue
About my sentiments true
Of left-over love for you?

The best love I ever gave
In my entire blessed life
Not ending at your grave
My being your faithful wife.

I dream of you passionately
Of trysts stirring deep in my soul
Of realities I created magically
Of fantasies I do happily extol.

At death we did truly part
New memories at an end
But the vow etched on my heart
I now know I must surely rend.

For marriages have no heavenly face
In scriptures there is truth of His place
You are now in God’s dimensional space
And I am still on Earth by His holy grace.

With my abundance of extra love
In loneliness, what shall I, must I do
With The Lord’s blessings from above
And endless possibilities ever anew.

Please do not jump to conclusions
There are many types of loving joy
Likened to myriads of love transfusions
Life’s positive building blocks we employ.

Copyright © 2019 by Juanita Holloway-Walters

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HAPPY NEW YEAR

First, the eulogy I have only just now been able to write,
for my husband who went to be with Jesus January 16, 2018. I am almost whole again. Yes, it is true, I have been defined by a beautiful word most of the prior 23 years before this one. The word is exquisite. It is full of everything a woman comfortable in her own skin feels when loved in equal measure by someone she loves. There is nothing that compares to feeling like this – nothing. It is born from a simple touch by one who exudes trust with every smile, tear, word, lyric, touch, kiss, intimacy, and commonality of faith in our loving Creator. It has been my pleasure and my honor to love and be in love with John.

On this, our first anniversary apart (New Year’s Eve 11:45 p.m.), I can still close my eyes, and feel exquisite from memory. The Lord gets the glory of this thing He defined for us; this thing called marriage. In this I have been blessed beyond measure. With each passing day I feel John’s presence a little less. I have felt my Mamma’s presence every day since her passing, but not so with John. I sense beyond about a dozen dimensions, that he is happy and very busy. I should not be surprised that The Lord would have lofty uses for my Marine in the Spiritual Battles waged in Heaven above. I imagine John as nothing less than a Colonel. His faith was alive and real every hour of every day.

Moving on to the here and now.
I am happy and at peace. I have odd thoughts of a new chapter in my life beginning soon. I am a little afraid. The only chapter I got right in my life was the last one with John. Before that – before the healing of Juanita through our Lord and Savior – I was broken and unable to pick a man to be my husband who was interested in the long term with me. I remember concluding that I must not be lovable. Oh, what a sad feeling that was. But, The Lord knew better, and healed my heart and soul. I just need to remember to trust in The Lord’s plan for my life – harder said than always done. I know we are each here for God’s glory.

My spine doctor managed to avoid the comparative MRI results of my spine – 2018 MRI vs. 2015 MRI – for a few visits, but we finally broached the subject. The words I was left with in my mind are “awful mess.” The words he used, in obvious hopes I would let it go, were ‘a lot of scarring, a lot of wear and tear, and much degeneration’. Well hell, I guess if you have Degenerative Spine Disease (as well as RA, OA, Fibro, Neuropathy, and IBS) for forty years, much degeneration is to be expected. The week before my PCP had called up the MRI on the screen to assure me that the results were in. He looked at the screen, my face, and quickly shut it down. I had not seen the “awful mess” picture before, and now know why no one ever shows the film to me. As a lay person, I cannot get the words “awful mess” to go away. But, I am still a tribute to my stubbornness. I walk, take good care of myself, my dog, and my belongings. I think I enjoy my roadster convertible so much because with the wind in my hair, I feel like I am running; and when the music is good, I am dancing.

This last few weeks I have had unexpected feelings of joy just bubbling out of me! Joy, my old friend, did not abandon me after all. I think my beautiful and talented Grandgirls have had a lot to do with this. They are both an awesome blend of their mamma and daddy. I admit that one of them is a mini-me! Well, she is the me I would have been, had I been raised in a less stressful parentage, and much more nurturing. I love them both with every fiber of my being in such a special way that I had never hoped to have with grandchildren. Sadly, because of the continuing war between their parents, my other three older grandchildren have been weaponized by the situation with their parents against me. Their father because I am my daughter’s mother; and their mother because if she cannot have them, then no one else can either. I pray for them every day, for their war wounds are obvious, and deep. I love my daughter, and my grandchildren from afar. I have been wondering if what The Lord has in store for me on my path has to do with helping broken families in some way, since I have come to understand so many dynamics in this field of study.

Well, my goodness, I sure did cover a huge field of HAPPY NEW YEAR. I am getting things out in the open to begin the New Year right. I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. They are like laws that can only condemn when we fall short of the mark. Last night at midnight I asked my Grandgirls to tell me one of their dreams for their future. I told them that this is what we will do each New Year’s Eve from now on. They didn’t take it very seriously, but as the years go by they will get the hang of it. I pray they continue this tradition into their adult years, and beyond. Dreams make our world go around and around in hope, love, faith, and joy. God bless you today and always.

You may quote me in these thoughts,
Texas Lady Juanita
Copyright © 2019 by Juanita Holloway-Walters

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FROM THE HEART – PERCEPTION – ONE MORE TIME TO EXPLAIN BETTER . . .

I am not a specialist in any field, but a perceptionist through many educated or revelation based lenses. It is a given, through those hundreds of scientists who have diligently been looking for the creator of the digital informational genetic codes unique to each of us, that they (and) everything else is created. They stubbornly refuse to call their Creator, God / Lord / Holy Spirit – The 3 ways He has made Himself known to us in the last several millennia. Science has recently proven that we live inside a reality that is inside a larger reality (no wonder you cannot see Heaven). And knowing scientists in Europe are deep into proving it is a digital hologram we live in, that business about the duality of particles and waves is making more and more sense.

Our moment to moment perception of our reality, including joint reality, makes that whole business of things only existing outside of yourself as you perceive them make sense. Not to mention that business of just so much energy for us to perceive and experiment with . . . We can change its form, but cannot create the raw materials, or destroy them.

The revelation I received years ago, and understand more as time passes on, makes more sense to me now than ever before. Everything not you and I, is all connected, and me seeing us as planted in it is because the life in us is literally breathed into us by our Creator. That breath of life makes us different. The scriptures assure us that our Creator knew us since before we were in our mothers womb.

We were / are created for our Creators Glory, and of HIS LOVE for us. So much so, that he gave us free will, to make our choice for a spirit of life, or a spirit of death. You blame God for bringing children into the lives of parents who worship lies and death. God did not do that, men and women did that, and will be judged for that above all sin.

The world could only have one beginning, and one end. The flawed argument that every generation has thought they were in the immediate preamble to the tribulation years, and therefore is proven to not be true today, is banking on a foolish bit of rhetoric. I submit, we have not actually understood the full meanings in the Holy Bible until this time – which is a shame, since the vast majority have stopped reading and studying it. Keep to old Bibles, and new information regarding the Hebrew and Greek translation to clear up the few mistakes in the King James. There are hundreds of translatios to deceive you. The words in The scriptures only have one clear meaning, not hundreds.

Please give these things your thought and study. I can only encourage you, as He has told me to do. I am as flawed as any, and saved by my belief in the Gospel regarding Jesus Christ, and His Grace for me.

Copyright © 2015 by Juanita Holloway-Walters

All Rights Reserved.

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EINSTEIN, GOD, KENNY ROGERS, ME, GLENN BECK, JESUS, YOU . . . Where is America headed?

“People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” Albert Einstein

God created time and would agree with that sentiment; especially since God is outside of this space / time continuum He created for us. Einstein also stated that he thought the universe was infinite, and that he might be wrong about that; and indeed he was wrong. We now know that the universe is finite, and digital. If all of the magical discoveries of DNA did not convince you of the existence of our Creator – our “intelligent designer” – then perhaps the newfound scientific discoveries of our reality will convince you. The fact that the THEORY of Evolution has never been proven, that we now know is impossible (not to mention totally unknowable) should have compelled us to stop teaching it to our children. The only evolving that is of any size is in the negative direction, not in any improvement. The fact that we now know that there are at least seven more dimensions in existence that we cannot know by personal direct experience, but science on the quantum level cannot move forward without them, should knock your socks into next Sunday. I see a little mental smiley face in my mind at this point in my little talk here with you.

(Pause here for a moment to decide if you are going to believe the discovered truth and go look for its evidence for yourself, or if you prefer the little dumbed down state the state has you in. What did Kenny Rodgers say? I just dropped in to see what condition my condition is in . . . yeah, yeah . . . yeah . . . )

I personally believe we lost our awareness of those quantum dimensions when man was ejected from being in a perfect state with God. Why man was not “naked” before ejection should be a question that pops into your mind when reading Genesis. Once we return to an existence with God in perfection we will be like God, in His image, and no longer dwelling in these fleshy containers we are always in such a rave about. We will all be truly beautiful.

I just broke a few rules about writing in telling you all of that before I get to the subject at hand today. I need for you to understand that I am a person who is studying God’s word. I am not the person I deal with regularly who tries to define what those words are and who wrote them without ever doing in-depth study of the Bible.  The rhetorical devices used to fool people into dismissing the Biblical truth by pulling the wool over their own eyes and yours by using group think, rationalizing, wishful thinking, relativism, proof surrogate, and at least ten other rhetorical devices for clever arguments that people take seriously – well, what I am really saying is that perhaps all the many rhetorical devices were originally created for this one purpose – to separate you from your Creator.  The “pen is mightier than the sword” – indeed! I have never seen so much effort to downplay and hide a truth from humans with reasonable thinking skills as this effort to separate you from the truth regarding your Creator.

The bottom line is that those who criticize and ridicule do so because:  if they can believe there is no Creator that gave us ten simple to understand laws to live by, then they can do anything they desire to do to themselves and others. The problem is that when there are no foundational human laws, you are either one of the few rulers, or you are the ruled masses. If you were born in the Middle East and happen to be a woman, a Christian, or a Jew it can mean suffering of the most horrid scale of what a human without conscience can do to hurt others. If you have a choice, and are still adamant about giving human rulers absolute power over you, I do get tired of hearing you complain about it! Listen up those of you in Detroit who have voted for progressives for decades to your own demise, yes, you are a few that my remark was talking to.

Today, I heard Glenn Beck talking about Hope and Faith, stating that one led to the other. In my mind, that is just as dishonest as the Hope and Change that the current Washington group of thugs were elected on. IT IS EMPTY. It is only my BELIEF in the Gospel in the scriptures regarding our Lord Jesus Christ that defines my faith, and gives me hope for my eternal soul by way of salvation. Only He that Created me is able to give me the gift of eternity with Him – by way of demonstrating to hundreds of people alive at that time how huge his dying for us – shedding His Life Blood – when He could have chosen not to feel the very human aspect of a painful death – but chose to do so – and then come back to us, proving that “death” did not end Him – giving us eternal hope. Whether “pagan” religions before the Gospel were prophetic in many re-occurring details, or evil in nature to poison the minds of men, I do not know – nor do they hold any interest for me beyond basic study of history. I seek the truth of things, and through prayer believe that the truth has come to me.

My very nature was changed by my Christian Belief, and then I was truly able to benefit from my inner well of Faith, Hope, and Charitable heart and soul. Because our Creator is “supernatural” (compared to us), I have absolutely no problem believing He could come to us as Jesus, and as the Holy Spirit. Why does man have such a hard time believing our Creator is “supernatural?” It would take a “supernatural” intelligence to create us to begin with. That much should be a no-brainer . . . you would think, wouldn’t you? Without our BELIEF in our Creator and the promises He has made to us who do BELIEVE, we could not possibly know exactly where hope, and faith come from.

I do my own reading of the scriptures and come to my own understanding, but no one comes to the Lord without hearing the scriptures from someone who has made the same journey before us. I just so happen to understand how taking things to prayer works – and prayed for someone whom I specifically could understand, because digging through the scriptures by myself – well, I was coming up short of real understanding, and I was smart enough to know it. When I prayed for some guidance, I prayed for the best – and somehow, Dr. Chuck Missler came into my vision of awareness. I honestly cannot remember how I learned of Dr. Missler, or his entire lifetime of Bible studies. One of those things I look back on as a mystery that I just cannot explain! I remember the day I met my husband. I remember the days I met my daughter and my son. I can remember the day I interviewed for each position in my always upward moving career. I can tell you that the Holy Spirit has been leading my life for at least twenty years almost exclusively. Before that I was only allowing the Holy Spirit to lead when I failed . . . THAT, MY FRIENDS IS BAD PLANNING!! I have now had so many miracles in my life, that to tell you all of them at once, you would just be dumbfounded. You need to experience miracles in your life to be a believer in them. Hearing about mine may make you feel good for the moment, but you would never want to live vicariously through my miracles when you could be living your own.

Coming full circle here – I didn’t like what Glenn Beck had to say this morning, and I do like the man. I believe there are foundational differences between his religion and mine – but that is for you to research and discover on your own. Like so many religions or philosophers, they say that hope leads to faith or vice versa, but never explain how. What Glenn was leading us to this morning is very important to all of us . . . where is America headed? I offer you the following video of Dr. Missler’s to help you begin your search for the truth of this matter. I then recommend you go to prayer to find assistance from the Holy Spirit to find the information that others would present to you. Then take it all to prayer again – I promise you that I have never been disappointed in the results from this practice . . . but I warn you that you may start seeing miracles in your own life, and miracles keep you in a state of wonder.

Dr. Chuck Missler Where Are We Headed (Part 1): He gives a brief explanation of his history, which is interesting in and of itself, and then goes on to talk about America’s future from a Biblical perspective.
I find it easiest to copy the link and past in a new browser and click enter for it to come up.
http://youtu.be/jmyJl4_S680

If you like that, you might also like this one that is similar –
America’s Current Predicament – Chuck Missler
http://youtu.be/RD7BnShjQRg

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