Category Archives: Widowhood

MY MUSIC

There it is inside me;
I hear the music
that is the expression
of who I am.
It becomes more difficult
as age disguises me
to reconcile this broken body
with my inner music.
When I was young
my music commanded
the whole world
to see my symphony.
It is becoming easier in time
to be alone with my music
feeling every irregular phrase
of my very intimate rhapsody.
Will I never feel exquisite again?
A beautiful duet forever gone;
leaving me ever wondering
will I never again be me?
When I think of harmonizing
my life with an unknown new tune,
I feel my eyes reluctantly opening
while my song slides into the blues.
My heart yearns for the me
of a heart full of life’s light,
so beautiful, and so very bright –
of the symphony of my youth.
I dream to be a softly precious thing;
my heart strings tuned to sing
a consistently beautiful melody
looking for the most perfect tune.

Texas Lady Juanita

Copyright © 2020 by Juanita Holloway-Walters

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A MEMORY COMPANION

He thought enough of me
to converse a thousand
kinds of conversations
over thousands of days.

He thought enough of me
to break bread a thousand
kinds of epicurean delights
over thousands of meals.

He thought enough of me
to court me every day
with romance and love
enough to fill a fine book.

He thought enough of me
to make millions of memories
very sweet and love true
over millions of moments.

He thought enough of me
to vow before almighty God
to love, trust, and cherish
until death we do part.

How do I finally say goodbye?
How do I redirect my vows
from my forever true love
to any possibility of other.

My heart yearns to turn
the dimension of time
infinitely backwards
to my comforting memories.

Now it has become painful
to bottle up the thousands
of leftover I love yous
trapped in my heart.

I have become lonely
since he went to be
with The Lord above
who loves us completely.

I will confess to His Spirit
my forever true Friend
who lives deep inside
my forever soul and spirit

I find as time goes by
a million unstoppable
new thoughts and feelings
bubbling up inside my heart.

I dream of an imagined love
who converses and dines
with a different sort of me
making memories anew.

And I wonder is it possible
from our Creator, above
to have in His plan for me
another memory companion.

Texas Lady Juanita

Copyright © 2019 by Juanita Holloway-Walters

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BLUE WIDOW

by Texas Lady Juanita

Whatever will I do
To stop being so blue
About my sentiments true
Of left-over love for you?

The best love I ever gave
In my entire blessed life
Not ending at your grave
My being your faithful wife.

I dream of you passionately
Of trysts stirring deep in my soul
Of realities I created magically
Of fantasies I do happily extol.

At death we did truly part
New memories at an end
But the vow etched on my heart
I now know I must surely rend.

For marriages have no heavenly face
In scriptures there is truth of His place
You are now in God’s dimensional space
And I am still on Earth by His holy grace.

With my abundance of extra love
In loneliness, what shall I, must I do
With The Lord’s blessings from above
And endless possibilities ever anew.

Please do not jump to conclusions
There are many types of loving joy
Likened to myriads of love transfusions
Life’s positive building blocks we employ.

Copyright © 2019 by Juanita Holloway-Walters

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