WHEREAS, I AM OVERWHELMED BY THE FREQUENCY BY WHICH 2.5% OF OUR POPULATION, WHOM ARE GAY, DECLARE THEIR SEXUAL PREFERENCES FAR AND WIDE IN PARADES, ON THE TELEVISION, AND THE MOVIES. AND FURTHER, having been named a wordsmith by many a professor, the mis-use of the word gay is totally unacceptable. Those of us in our senior years grew up with the meaning of gay to be happy. At this point in time, I have decided that if I can’t beat them, I will happily comply and join in the gay merriment . . .
THEREFORE, I AM DECLARING JULY 4TH AS – GAY-HETERO PRIDE DAY (meaning happy-hetero) – FROM THIS DAY FORWARD let there be celebrating of the Gay-Heteros, whereby almost all children are conceived.
I DO HEREBY PERSONALLY DECLARE – sexually speaking – John Earle Walters, my wonderful husband, is my one and only preference – MY lover, friend, confidant, as ordained by God.
Please join in from this day forward, all of you HAPPY! GAY-HETEROS, and lift a glass of bubbly to our hetero-sexual announcements far and wide on July 4th, 2013. Hopefully, by July 4th, 2014, all of the happy GAY-HETEROS will be having parades in public places to jointly celebrate July 4th, and our hetero-sexual preferences will be announced happily, far and wide throughout the land. Finally, we can have parades to celebrate our sexuality too!
AFTER ALL, WITHOUT ALL OF US GAY-HETEROS none of you would have ever been born.
With all love and sincerity,
Mrs. Juanita Holloway-Walters 🙂