A NEW DISEASE

Another person’s FB post made me think about it . . . Besides just things like 5 major spine surgeries, Rheumatoid Arthritis (both knees replaced at the same time), Fibro, Osteo, and others we won’t talk about . . . I figured out one more disease I have . . .

I have ADCD – ATTENTION DEFICIT CAREER DISORDER
– Where the OCD turn the corner of 40 years of doing ten things at once – and 99.9 % came out perfect, or close to it  (the downside is that one’s children and co-worker tend to think you are perfect, and perfect is a disease)
– one’s briefcase kept growing in size until they came out with the huge one for accountants (thankfully I figured out how to access the office computer from home, or I might be having a broken back that couldn’t be fixed with surgery)
– where I remember proudly carrying my portable computer home and back (the size of a singer sewing machine – it was a Compaq – thankfully they got smaller as I got older)
– worked all day and half of the nights while the kids slept (after cooking them dinner almost every night, and I even ate my veggies to be a good example)
– exchanged Christmas presents and talked business with the company owners I worked for at endless company social functions (that IS a social life, isn’t it? – WE DID, AFTER ALL, INVENT HAPPY HOUR when our corporate lawyers explained to us that the two martini lunch became a no-no)
– then it happened one day in my late 50’s – I noticed I had been working in circles and not getting anything done for at least eight months. Suddenly everything on my to-do list was so important it had a star next to it – and then I knew I had Attention Deficit Career Disorder
– ADCD is not a disease for the faint of heart – not for wussies
– this disease is for the OCD – Type A – Senior Citizen.

I write almost every day. I cannot help myself, I used to sneak off to lunches by myself, so I could sit there with my tuna melt and write. I am medically retired – disabled. I have a lot of free time, and a lot of pain to divert my brain from. How many of those commentaries do I actually finish each year? From 2010 forward, I have finished anywhere from zero to 12 – depending on the year.

I have decided to finish the one I started yesterday . . .  currently on its 6th re-write . . . I may set a record for re-writes with this one . . . the trick is deciding it is finished, so I can publish it.

No matter how passionate I am about a hobby, ADCD is a hobby killer. This is becoming a major concern, and not just for the writing problem.
– The dining room chairs repaint project is in its 24th month. There are 4 chairs. One chair is painted twice and finished. One chair has only one coat. One chair has 80% of one coat. One chair has zero coats of paint.
– The baby blankets project I started crocheting before the Grandgirls were born is not finished. The Grandgirls are almost 3 and 4 years old.
– The switching over from the old address book to the new address book project is not finished. It began only about eight months ago. The new book is completed for A through H. (I said I wanted a new one, and my husband gifted me with one much nicer than I would have ever bought for myself.) The old book has pages not torn out yet of I through Z.
– The making of the My Favorite Recipes Little Black Book project (for my son to inherit) is not finished. I started on it about 3 years ago. I took one of my lovely old black cloth Day-Timers (from the 80’s?) and put recipe tabs and a lot of blank pages for adding recipes. To date I have transferred about 30 recipes from various recipe cards dating back to the 70’s. The rest of them, maybe fifty, are in a brown photo box waiting to be written into my treasured old Day-Timer.

You get the picture? There are many, many more for this list, but I cannot recall what they are for I have hidden them from my sight. Seeing them every day, out in the open would just remind me of how many there are. All 6 of my desk drawers are letter size file drawers. Four of them are filled with writing I have not yet finished or shredded.

Over the years, I have filled up at least 3 or 4 leaf bags with my endless writing. I have burnt up the motors in 3 shredders. I remember shredding the one and only book I have written. Upon re-reading it only five years later, I was mortified at how ignorant I had been just five years earlier regarding Politics and Religion. I figured if it was not polite to talk about them, I could at least write about them.

If we are truly learning something new each day, my written works were bound to be obsolete at some point. I have found the fallacy in that thought process. Once we become well learned and mature in those two subjects, our basic views do not change very much in substance. I am thankful and proud to have come to maturity – now, I wish, and wish, and wish I were capable of finishing every essay I begin. Getting stuck in perpetual re-write is one aspect of my own special disease that I have discovered – ADCD. I thought it would be the one disease to be cured when my medical retirement became unavoidable. But alas, it is as incurable as any of my other diagnoses. I might as well get used to Attention Deficit Career Disorder, or perhaps rename it ADRHD Attention Deficit Retired Hobby Disorder. Every time you see a published commentary from me, know that it is a VICTORY in my ADRHD life.

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6 thoughts on “A NEW DISEASE

  1. GM Barnett says:

    Dear JHW, What a perfect article and I believe that we all suffer this fate. It is the degrees of completion that we remember. Missing from the list here are all of the things that you did complete. Those are the ones that you accept as easy but 999,999 out of 1,000,000 would never be able to compare what they only attempted and yet you completed and moved on. There are so many things finished that escape us and yet those we forget. I am enjoying your post and hope that you continue to write. Happy Easter to you and John.

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